Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Sox slugger Abreu is hot
While the ugly-ass Cubbies are not
So much fun for the Hose
While the Cubs decompose
Is it drugs? Or a Communist plot?
Jose Abreu won both AL Player of the Month and AL Rookie of the Month for his record-breaking performance in April. He led the majors in HRs (10), RBIs (32), total bases and extra-base hits, and also set major league rookie records for each of those categories.
The years fly by like “line drives.”
The “K’s” still haunt me and
the “RBI’s” are few in this
bottom-of-the-seventh game.
I try hard to even the score
with my lovable nemesis, Nature,
by tying the game and
going for extra innings.
Oh, yeah, I am up there swinging
in this twilight game.
Going for the fences,
and when I round third
and get Home, I will jump on it
with both feet.
“Does Bryce Harper hustle?”
For what is this bustle?
Why are he and his manager in such a tussle?
“Does Bryce Harper hustle?”
Is he a Jack Russell?
Or is Matt Williams’ brainpan made solely of muscle?
Stu’s new book, Wrigley Field: The Long Life and Contentious Times of the Friendly Confines, is available now. Buy it today!
Furbush?
Pujols?
Fister?
Head?
I was watching a game
But got Penthouse instead.
A Chatwood? A Dinkelman? They’re not reassuring–
they both sound painful,
though perhaps alluring.
It’s just like the old days, when we’d annoonce
That the Sox had a player named Rusty Kuntz.
Another season
Harbingers of spring
Robins in my yard
This morning
Brewer baseball
On the radio
This afternoon
Snow predicted
By the weekend
Our equanimity
Undisturbed
Winter finally in retreat
Baseball is back