Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Blake Snell
Still pitches quite well
But for that to sell,
You’d have to tell
GMs half-truths to quell
Their fear of wild spells
And early-game bombshells
Which the Cy Young didn’t dispel.
Now he’s in SF,
A place accustomed AF
To an up-and-down staff.
Let’s hope Melvin is deft
or it will be “exit, stage left.”
No use in blinking
at the fact
that at that time the game was thought,
by respectable people,
to be only one degree above
grand larceny,
arson,
mayhem
and those who engaged in it were
beneath notice of
decent society.
Thanks to Jim Koenigsberger @Jimfrombaseball.
1BÂ Â Wayne Tyrone
2BÂ Â Cavan Biggio
SSÂ Â Bunny Downs
3BÂ Â Jeter Downs
LFÂ Â Shane Mona[g]han
CFÂ Â Kerry Dineen
RFÂ Â Russ Derry
CÂ Â Â Corky Miller
LHPÂ Mike Kilkenny
RHPÂ Kerry Wood, Kerry Ligtenberg, Kerry Lacy, Kerry Taylor
MGRÂ Â Mayo Smith
Owner Tom Monaghan
Can our boy Judge come out to play?
At noon our foursome tees up.
Sorry, fellas, not today,
He’s sorta mid-spring beat up.
That man Aaron is one hunk of thirst,
The girls at the club wanna meet up.
No no, ladies, training comes first,
He’s a bit mid-spring beat up.
At the hotel, the maids are asking,
Can Judge ever put the seat up?
Bending over? That’s multitasking
For someone mid-spring beat up.
Should I renew my season seats,
Watch my savings get eat up?
Baseball gives your pains surcease
‘Til you get mid-spring beat up.
This season’s new sheer slacks
Provide some things the game now lacks
A visible swing, a casual sashay
As sometimes seen in the NBA
New fans may be attracted!
Other players (no names, please) distracted
Gabby coaches will look like fools
When yapping about a player’s tools
And the evidence will add a new wrinkle
To discussion of anyone’s “launch angle.”
