By James Finn Garner
If you want to jazz your game up a bit
Try out a new base-running mitt.
X has many styles
Sure to bring smiles
And give traditionalists a fit.
Au Revoir, Dusty
Au revoir, Dusty
In you did we trusty
Smart, passionate, steady
Toothpick at the ready
Giant, Astro, Dodger, Cub
You always improved a club
You have nothing more to prove
And lots of grandchildren to love
Raise a glass of Baker Wine
And celebrate the good times.
Handy Rangers Reference Guide
By James Finn Garner
To earn Bochy another trophy:
$how Corey Seager that you’re eager
Give Semien a couple extra million
Grow l’esprit of Garcia
Give up da funk for Jung
Pray Mad Max can still stack
Then parry with Montgomery
And stay out of the bullpen
whenever you can.
Battle on the Brazos
By James Finn Garner
A shootout between Rangers and ‘Stros
Is a beaut for old Texas foes.
Is Scherzer all right?
Is it St. Crispin’s Night?
Which squad will become Texas Toast?
An Ode to Leody
by James Finn Garner
A master thief is Leody Tavares
Stealing home runs from over tall fences
Think one is long gone?
Oh hun, you’d be wrong
He’s the David Niven of Texas’ defenses.