Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
1BÂ Â Chick “Gangsta” Gandil
2BÂ Â Two-Tony Phillips
SSÂ Â Jazz Chisholm, Jr.
3BÂ Â Herb Souell
LFÂ Â John Krunk
CFÂ Â Liz Funk
RFÂ Â Bomba Rivera
CÂ Â Bert Blue
LHPÂ Â T.J. House, Hip-Hoppo Vaughn
RHPÂ Â Frank Funk, Kyle Funkhouser, Urban Shocker, Burleigh Grimes, Pedro Beato
MGRÂ Â Rap Dixon
The Rangers were in danger
Of continuing their slide
Put their boots on ‘gainst Houston
To defend Dallas pride.
Young Josh Sborz lost the first war
While Altuve, Dubon went yard
Then batters were hampered by reliable Framber
Who didn’t make it look so hard.
For the wild card race, they went with an ace
Facing JV — the showdown was set
But ol’ Max Scherzer came out the worser
And they rode off in the sunset.
T’other night, the M’s honored King Felix
And proceeded (coded in their double helix?)
To spot Kirby no runs.
Seattle’s daughters and sons
Still enjoy their salmon, coffee and analgesics.
The theatrical Yankees skip Boone
Had an act that made the crowds swoon:
Scratch a line in the sand,
Make an “Outta here!” stance,
And the rags say he’s the new Tommy Tune!
Poor Timmy! Zonked by a double whammy
When he chose to throw hands with Joe Rami.
First Jose’s right hook
Left him cold as a chinook
And on the way down he twisted both hammies!
(Not really, but admit it, Sox fans — you still felt compelled to double-check.)
