Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Cool air, short days
Now it’s the postseason of a faux season
It wasn’t a waste
But much has been lost
Sleety April games
Midseason slumps
The DH argument
Stints in Toledo and Scranton
The minors
Veteran farewell tours
A season as satisfying as an airline dinner
(If I remember correctly)
What has the game become?
I feel like Jon Lester trying to pick off a runner
I want to turn back Time
And Time don’t play like that.
1BÂ Â Roy “Squirrel” Sievers
2BÂ Â Don “Gerbil” Zimmer
SSÂ Â Rabbit Maranville
3BÂ Â Muskrat Bill Shipke
OFÂ Â Shawn Hare
OFÂ Â Joe Rabbitt
OFÂ Â Mouses Alou
CÂ Â Â Paul Ratliff
PÂ Â Steve Ratzer, Jake Volz
MGRÂ Â Capybara Anson
One evening on 35th Street
A cardboard fan I happened to meet
She thought me conventional
Her? Two-dimensional
We plan to get married next week.
Had Donaldson not lost his cool
Kicking dirt like an absolute tool
He’d be there to toss
Abreu out for a loss–
Instead Sox grab the playoff spot jewel.
Per Redlegs ace Trevor Bauer,
Cubs’ chirping proved them wallflowers.
Does Trevor not know
The team’s trying to grow
Through “It Pays to Increase Your Word Power”?