MLB All Happy Team

1B   Pop Joy
2B   Bill Smiley
SS    Jurickson Prozac
3B   Chipper Jones

LF   Smead Jolley
CF   Happy Felsch
RF   Jim Gleeson

C    Joe Garrulous-giola

LHP   Happy Foreman, Drew Smyly, John Smiley, Aaron Laffey
RHP   Happy Townsend, Julian Merryweather, Dave Jolly, Buddy Lively

MGR    Jolly Cholly Grimm

 

All-Star Clerihews #4: Clerihews Reflux

Cole Ragans
Believes that pagans
Get a bad rap in the papers
And also happen to be great landscapers.

Josh Naylor
Has a great tailor
Who crafts slacks for travel
That don’t unravel.

Isaac Paredes
Loves eating spiedies,
Burgoo, tamales, chislic, etouffee–
All the regional dishes of the USA.

Carlos Correa
Has nary a
Bad word to say
About the films and good works of Danny Kaye.

All-Star Clerihews #3: Clerihews Redux

Kirby Yates
Would follow a website that rates
The performances of Kate Winslet
Based on her accent.

Ketel Marte
Would eat banana cream parfaits
At every meal, but doesn’t because
His contract has a weight-gain clause.

Steven Kwan
Will drone on and on
About investing in Bitcoin
Because he’s got the acumen of a pork loin.

Trea Turner
Is a slow learner
3 times invested with Steven Kwan!
Man, that money’s gone gone gone…

All-Star Clerihews #2: Clerihew Requiem

Rafael Devers
Will never say never
But he’s pretty sure
He wouldn’t go on a gastronomic foraging tour.

Paul Skenes
Mentors awkward teens.
Growing up in California
He too had acne and body dysphoria.

Elly de la Cruz
Has over 400 pairs of shoes
And 75 square meters
Of Odor Eaters.

Alec Bohm.
Wherever he lays his hat is his home.
But wherever he is across the nation,
He digs The Temptations.

All-Star Clerihews #1: Clerihew Resurrection

Tarik Skubal
Is always hungry for noodles.
Chow mein, soba, udon, ramen–
He just tells the waiter, “Keep it comin’!”

Garrett Crochet
Thinks those edible bouquets
Are a colossal waste.
“How much cantaloupe can one person taste?”

Seth Lugo
Reads a lot of Victor Hugo
Daydreaming of an understudy job
With “Les Misérables.”

Shōta Imanaga
Loves the generosity of Chicaga.
He never has to scrounge
To pay for a beer at the Nisei Lounge.