by James Finn Garner
A foul tip off the bat of Cub Happ
Made a trip into Iván Herrera’s lap
He wasn’t maimed
Even finished the game
Though later his pips were bubble wrapped.
2024 Class Honors
by James Finn Garner
The Hall of Fame’s had guys
Named Mordecai,
Rabbit, Gabby, Ducky,
Old Hoss
and Kiki,
Lefty, Frankie, Connie,
and Pie,
Grover, Honus, Napoleon,
Dizzy, Dazzy
and Cy.
Now there’ll be a Todd?
Feels odd.
Fish Sale
by James Finn Garner
Fish for sale! Yo, fish for sale!
Marlins produce never goes stale!
A new rebuild set in motion,
A sinking team near the rising ocean.
In the glaring Miami sun
Any squad will come undone.
Don’t fall in love with Luis Arráez.
He’ll disappear before your eyes.
Burger, Bell, and Tanner Scott
Could be gone when summer’s hot,
And things won’t get calm later:
Come fall, bye-bye, Skip Schumaker
Root for the Marlins? Don’t forget:
A time-share is all you’ll ever get.
MLB All-Don-Martin-Sound-Effects Team
By Stuart Shea, Jim Siergey and James Finn Garner
1BÂ Â John Kruk
2BÂ Â Frank Sigafoos
SSÂ Â Sibby Sisti
3BÂ Â Wayne Krenchicki
LFÂ Â Mark Funderburk
CFÂ Â Richie Zisk
RFÂ Â Louis Sockalexis
CÂ Â Erik Kratz
LHPÂ Â Thomas Szapucki, Paul Splittorff
RHPÂ Â Lee Pfund, Cy Slapnicka, Joe Slusarski, Yorman Bazardo
MGRÂ Â Gavvy Kravath
MLB All-Disney Team
1BÂ Â Wall-E Joyner
2BÂ Â Cobra Bubbles Anderson
SSÂ Â Joe TinkerBell
3BÂ Luis Alicea in Wonderland
LFÂ Â Albert Belle
CFÂ Â Brer Jones
RFÂ Â Dory Dean
C  Gustavo Molina, Sebastián Rivero
LHPÂ Â ArÃel Miranda, Nemo Gaines
RHPÂ Â Cinders O’Brien, Ron Darling, Milt Gaston
MGRÂ Â Hughie, Dewey and Louie Jennings
