Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Tampa Bay fans’ new novena:
“Randy Arozarena”
Walks on Sunshine, with Katrina:
Randy Arozarena
His bat shoots flames, yet burns cleana:
Randy Arozarena
Hits like Joe Greene, only “Mean”-a:
Randy Arozarena
The Court of Slumps can’t subpoena
Randy Arozarena
So I’m suing the Phillies’ bullpen
for inflicting emotional stress.
With a tight lead, it’s not “if” but “when”,
the box score will reflect their BS.
My symptoms are nausea and worry
When Girardi raises his arm.
Rival hitters have no such jitters–
as they rush the dish in a swarm.
The lawyer is sure we’ll get millions
once the jury’s apprised of the facts.
Our “relief” corps does not provide said,
and the onus is mostly Klentak’s.
Maximum ducks upon the pond,
Clad in uniforms brown and blond,
Waddled home, four straight games,
Padres’ bats spewing flames.
Foes’ feathers’ ruffled? Tatis yawned.
The home teams were way too hospitable.
And Justin Verlander? Quite hittable.
From Greinke to Howie
Game 7 was Wowie
*And those boobirds spat fire political.