Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Yes, the Braves right now
Are the best team in baseball,
And yes, the Yankees are riding
An historic implosion this season,
And yes [painfully, so painfully
If you’re a Yankee fan],
The three “games” were ugly.
But despite the doom and gloom,
There was a silver lining —
Michael Kay calling the game,
And David Cone and Paul O’Neil
Adding insightful, humorous
Commentary. The trio made this
Downward Yankees’ slide palatable.
Domingo Germán was in trouble,
His baseball life on the bubble.
His last two outings had been
ERs of 8 and 10,
The tabloids were blaring in his ears
“Off with his head!” and other smears,
And frankly, he didn’t know if and when
He’d be on the mound again.
But this all changed on a Wednesday night
When, in Oakland, he got it right
With a curveball that was unhittable
And a demeanor that was unflappable.
The result: a perfect game, number
Twenty-four in baseball’s history-ledger.
The American League East
Is a self-eating beast
With no team below .500.
And the way these teams go,
As they consume one another,
It does make me wonder:
When the regular season
Is finally over
And the dust has settled,
It’s possible — it just may be —
That the last one on this list
Of baseball carnivores
May still get a wild card berth.
On this day, in 1939,
The first-ever-televised
Baseball game ocurred.
It was between Princeton
And Columbia, at
Columbia’s Bakers Field,
And Princeton won, 2-1.
First-ever pitch clock,
Elimination of the shift,
Pickoffs and “disengagement”
From the rubber
By the pitcher on the mound —
To name but a few of the new rules.
Sure I get it, MLB
Wants to attract new faces
And they figured it’s about time
To speed up the game …
But I still have trouble with the new bases.
They’re now the size of pizza boxes,
And I’m waiting for the moment,
That moment during a game,
When a hungry player on base
Tries to lift the lid.