They’re ALL Stars in Kansas City

By Stu Shea

Hey, K.C. fans! Embrace the absurd.
No matter how foolish, it’s your time to be heard!

Vote with your heart instead of your brain–
Instead of Mike Trout, vote Lorenzo Cain!

It’s been so long since the Royals could play,
You’re making a point to the whole U.S.A.

Miggy Cabrera? He ain’t no good.
So just vote for Hosmer–we knew that you would.

And Omar Infante’s the one for you,
Even if he’s hitting .192.

And sure, Alex Rios is on the DL,
And he ain’t that good anyway…but, what the hell!

Click on his name, click all the Royals,
As Western fans grumble and Easterns recoil,

But don’t blame us–we won’t be the goats–
If the A.L. loses on account of your votes.

 

Springtime in Toronto

By Stu Shea

The Stanley Cup’s a former ‘wow’–
Go, go Jays!
Some team in Florida wants it now.
Go, go Jays!
Our baseball team is top-of-pile,
We’ve won 11 straight in lovely style.
It’s nicer than it’s been in a while!
Go, go Jays!

 

Chris Heston’s Big Advantage

By Stuart Shea

Charlton’s got nothing on Christopher Heston–
There’s one big thing that the ballplayer’s best in!
Charlton parted the Red Sea, left the Pharaoh bitter,
But he never threw a no-hitter.