Stu Shea – Page 2

AL West 2023 Spring Training Forecast Haiku

Houston Astros
Crass-tros, Disas-stros,
Even Garbage-can-smash-stros—
They’re still really good.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, Orange County, California
It’s always Disney,
To us, anyway…but now,
No longer Showtime.

Oakland Athletics
Neither here nor there—
Big change only bothers those
Who are not in charge.

Seattle Mariners
Young, strong arms, spring’s joy.
Will Gilbert, Kirby, Miller
Get a “Woo Woo Woo”?

Texas Rangers
Now that we all know
About your autumn harvest,
You’d better watch yourself!

Chicago Cubs
Inside the outfield,
Autumn dream: A Belli dance.
Will it or won’t it?

Cincinnati Reds
Too many men to
Plow the field and not enough
Men to throw the dirt.

Milwaukee Brewers
Blue and golden hop(e)s,
I thought it was still summer—
Then the brew went flat.

Pittsburgh Pirates
Fording three rivers,
Seedy types in fancy suits
Trawl for cheap assets.

St. Louis Cardinals
Spring rain’s mire will tell
Whether the wheels are still good
Or are falling off.

Chicago White Sox
Best to seek new park
Before taking the field with
A terrible team.

Cleveland Guardians
An empty cave, just
Like the Guardians’ lineup,
Hasn’t any bats.

Detroit Tigers
Actual prospects,
Bringing April to those who
Want to hope again.

Kansas City Royals
Tethered by contract,
Regardless of performance—
To Witt: 11 years.

Minnesota Twins
By the river live
Siblings united by love
For their baseballists.

Atlanta Braves
Without a weakness—
Except for being human
And, thus, changeable.

Philadelphia Phillies
The leadoff hen lays
Or does not lay; she knows of
No other outcome.

Miami Marlins
One more year, no fish.
Can’t be my cheap bait—no way.
God just detests us.

New York Mets
Ah, spring of Butto!
Lucchesi! Bickford! Megill—
Just not Senga. Ow.

Washington Nationals
Land of limousines,
Riding on retreads: Senzel,
Gallo, and Winker.

Baltimore Orioles
July: Orioles
Will refuse to migrate south,
Seeking fall colors.

Boston Red Sox
Yes, every franchise
Is an Evil Empire now.
Game is in its Fall.

New York Yankees
Can the potential
Of overpowering bats
Overpower their age?

Tampa Bay Rays
Lesson of the old:
It takes a genius chef to
Make soup out of straw.

Toronto Blue Jays
An exhaustive search!
Team’s new radio guy is
The TV guy’s son.