Baseball Parity, Chicago Parody

by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza

Had the Dodgers
Lost just one more game,
This sub-600 season woulda been lame.

The winning percentage
Of most every other team,
Was surely a parity-lover’s dream.

Leaving aside the Angels, Marlins, Rockies,
And the historically bad White Sox,
All the other ballclubs had their shots.

Within sniffing distance of the wild card,
A couple of wins here and there
Woulda given your team a playoff share.

If the Mets and Tigers coulda
Advanced to the second round,
My Cubbies, too, shoulda stuck around.

Yeah, there may be MLB pair-a-tee,
But as Steve Goodman’s Dying Cubs Fans know
They still play the blues in Chi-ca-go.

Dr. Oza’s novel Double Play on the Red Line sits at the intersection of Ernie Banks’ Cubs, the Negro Leagues, riding the El, wrongful convictions, immigration and friendship. It will be published in October 2024 by Chicago’s Third World Press.

The Bambino’s New Clothes

by James Finn Garner

They just auctioned off the shirt
Worn by the Babe when he put the hurt
On the Cubs in the Series of ’32.
We all fall for this dippity-do
Of the “called shot”, yet
The Babe himself plumb forgot
To mention it ’til 20 years later,
Making it a stale, strange tater.
Would Cubs pitcher Root, further,
Not have wished that showboat murder
And thrown a fastball at his ear
Next time up, to local cheers?
It’s a myth, okay? A tall tale, a fable.
Just ‘cuz the sellers say they are able
To verify the jersey through “photo-match”,
And other wits say aye, the whole klatsch
Is in the end a suspicious familia,
All making bank on each other’s memorabilia.

What was true then is true now, don’t be mistaken:
There’s one born every minute, and two to take him.

Babe Ruth ‘called shot’ Yankees jersey fetches record $24M

How Not to Draw a Walk

By Hilary Barta

Some players are known for their spit
Far fewer for something they writ
This unusual bat
Should have its own stat
And with it the guy got a hit!

Toronto’s Ernie Clement comes prepared for class against the Cubs on August 16, 2024, Players Appreciation Day.