Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

Is Haiku foolish?
For the national pastime?
Heavens, I hope not.

NL West
Arizona
Nice guys finish last
Crabby managers do win
They still need pitching

Los Angeles
Is money the key?
It can bring in the big names
No, it’s the scouting

Colorado
Thin air skews his stats.
Is Todd a Hall of Famer?
No, probably not

San Francisco
We won it all twice…
With an absence of offense
Only even years

San Diego
A beautiful park
The only Hall of Famer
Is up in the booth

NL East
Atlanta
Fourteen in a row
Is not so impossible
It might start this year

Washington
First picks starting games
Davey says this is his last
A doormat no more

Philadelphia
A team on the rise
They are not now any more
We all miss Harry

New York
A small pantheon
But will be growing soon now
Matt Harvey’s a star

Miami
Was ever team
More worthy than its owner
To be in the Bigs?

NL Central
St. Louis
The league’s best record
They have birds on their jerseys
We all will miss Stan

Pittsburgh
A great tradition
Lives on in the memory of fans
Maybe the year’s here!

Cincinnati
Phillips is wondrous
The rest are outstanding too
It’s Dusty’s last year

Chicago
The city’s windy
Is anything more constant
Than fans’ apathy?

Milwaukee
Segura is great
John Axford is clean shaven
Nicest fans ever

 

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

The Closing Menu (Aroldis Chapman)

by James Finn Garner

Chapman might have nerves of steel,
But munchies? His Achilles heel.
Before the Phils two homers laced, he
Ate 18 guava-cream-cheese pastries.

Now, Bambino gobbled beer and dogs,
Yardbird the only dish for Boggs,
But to abate your pulse like lava,
Try pastries filled with cheese and guava.

Closers are a breed apart
A fiery mix of arm and heart.
If vict’ry’s what you long to taste, be
Wary of inhaling pastries.

 

At Long Last, Hu

by Jim Siergey

Bud Abbott befuddled poor Lou
With bit about first baseman Who.
.       What once was absurd
.       Today has occurred
“Hey, Abbott! On first base is Hu!”

 

For the picture that Abbott & Costello never lived to see, as well as a great modern retelling of their classic routine, check out this post by PeteyHendrix at Red Reporter.

 

Gaffe-Be-Gone

by Michael X. Ferraro

Cliff Lee put the “Lee” into “lean,”
So Aroldis picked him off clean.
.      Now no ducks on the pond
.      But the Phils did respond,
With the Kratz-Galvis Longball Machine!

 

2013 NL Central Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO
A brand-new playpen?
That’s just a distraction for
Your crumbling bones.

CINCINNATI
As we get older
We learn to use our wisdom.
What’s Dusty’s excuse?

MILWAUKEE
I’d walk a mile for
A Gamel–a healthy one.
Now: power outage.

PITTSBURGH
Brand new calendar,
Same old days. Same old people.
Same old misery.

ST. LOUIS
Another spring, a
Young man in charge–well, young by
Managing standards…