Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
When Leo the Lip tried to name
The five strongest bats in the game
He omitted Ted Klu
Hinted he lived in the zoo
Human being? He’s not quite the same.
When Hall of Fame manager Leo Durocher was once asked by a writer to name five of the strongest players in baseball, he complied. However, when the writer pointed out that he’d left Ted Kluszewski off the list, Durocher huffed and said, “Kluszewski? I’m talking about human beings!” Happy 100th birthday, Big Klu!
134. Brewers 5, Reds 4 in 10
Split doubleheader
Crew take game 1 in extras
Jackson’s ankle good?
135. Brewers 14, Reds 0
Nightcap not so close
Offense gets ridiculous
No extras needed.
23 over!
Watch out, Philadelphia
Crew want in top 2.
136. Brewers 5, Reds 4
Willy and Jackson
Power offense while Perkins
Steals homer with glove.
Devin walks tightrope
By loading bases in 9th
But escapes the jam.
135. Reds 4, Brewers 3 in 11
Someone had to blink
Crew settle for 3 of 4
In Cincinnati.
Hello, Brent Suter
Congrats on some fine pitching
Wish it was in Blue.
Rafael Devers
Will never say never
But he’s pretty sure
He wouldn’t go on a gastronomic foraging tour.
Paul Skenes
Mentors awkward teens.
Growing up in California
He too had acne and body dysphoria.
Elly de la Cruz
Has over 400 pairs of shoes
And 75 square meters
Of Odor Eaters.
Alec Bohm.
Wherever he lays his hat is his home.
But wherever he is across the nation,
He digs The Temptations.
Chicago Cubs
Inside the outfield,
Autumn dream: A Belli dance.
Will it or won’t it?
Cincinnati Reds
Too many men to
Plow the field and not enough
Men to throw the dirt.
Milwaukee Brewers
Blue and golden hop(e)s,
I thought it was still summer—
Then the brew went flat.
Pittsburgh Pirates
Fording three rivers,
Seedy types in fancy suits
Trawl for cheap assets.
St. Louis Cardinals
Spring rain’s mire will tell
Whether the wheels are still good
Or are falling off.
Au revoir, Dusty
In you did we trusty
Smart, passionate, steady
Toothpick at the ready
Giant, Astro, Dodger, Cub
You always improved a club
You have nothing more to prove
And lots of grandchildren to love
Raise a glass of Baker Wine
And celebrate the good times.
