Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Joey Votto
Never gets blotto
But does enjoy the occasional beer
With that crazy Molina, Yadier.
Ender Inciarte
Prefers Commedia dell’arte
And Restoration plays
To the pap on B’way these days.
Nolan Arenado
Boasts much bravado
But jumps high as a glider
When surprised by a spider.
Nelson Cruz
Hates to lose,
Which makes his time in Seattle
More of a battle.
Jose Quintana
Can drive up the Dan Ryan-a
Take the Drive over
And finally pitch in October.
Aaron Judge
Wants to leave a ball-shaped smudge
On the bleacher seats
Of every ballpark he meets.
Jose Altuve
Is feeling real groovy
Slulrping down shaved ice
And driving around like “Miami Vice”.
Chris Sale
Drinks a pail
Of prune juice before each start–
That face is him holding in every fart.
Zack Cozart
Isn’t much for art.
He thinks that big thing by Red Grooms
Indicates use of ‘shrooms.
An ardent and ballsy debater,
At arguing calls none was greater
His jowls had a fit
As he howled and he spit
A gnarly and balding old tater.
For Madison Bumgarner, et al.
Each Giants fan felt giant fear,
Thought, “Though year’s even,” then “Out of here!”
Mad Baum showed Jints the way,
Hit “Game’s Call of the Day”.
Reckon likely be Call of the Year.
Seems each 60 years there’s such a game:
Give up Grand Slam, hit tater same frame.
First, Hubs’ Fred Klobedanz,
Back when Babe wore short pants;
Reds’ Hal Jeffcoat, Mad Bum each same fame.
On August 18 in the fourth inning, Madison Bumgarner gave up a grand slam. In the bottom of the inning, he hit a two-run tater. He is the third hurler in Major League history to hit a home run after giving up grand slam in previous half-inning:
1: Boston Braves’ Fred Klobedanz vs. New York Giants (homer by George Davis), 1st/2nd, on 9/12/1896
2: Cincinnati Reds’ Hal Jeffcoat vs. St. Louis Cardinals (homer by Stan Musial), 8th, on 5/26/1957
3: San Francisco Giants’ Madison Baumgarner vs New York Mets (homer by Justin Ruggiano), 4th, on 8/18/16