Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
John Lackey, don’t you hear that sound
as you harrumph upon the mound?
David Ross, do your Cub ears twitch
as you jog toward the errant pitch?
That noise — whoooosh — ain’t what you reckoned
…………..BillyHamiltonjustscoredfromsecond !
Reds’ Billy Hamilton scored from second on passed ball Tuesday, thanks to Cubs’ laziness
Or: “Pulling Out All the Strops”
“That bullpen is so far away,
so why not use left field instead?”
These are the kinds of late-inning thoughts
that pop into Joe Maddon’s head.
On the road down in Cincy, Kris Bryant
Explodes for three homers, all giant
But the cheers “Curtain call”
On deaf ears would all fall
To such showboating Bryant’s defiant.
Kris Bryant hit three homers and two doubles on Monday night, but refused to come out of the dugout for a bow, despite cheers from fans and prodding from teammates, because he didn’t want to show up the Reds.
For Eddie Grant (b. 5/21/1883, Franklin, MA; d. 10/5/1918, Argonne, France) and Christy Mathewson (b. 8/12/1880, Factoryville, PA; d. 10/7/1925, Saranac Lake, NY)
Eddie Grant led a singular life:
Harvard, Jints, “Over There,” lost his life.
The Big Six enlists, too:
Gassed, stateside Christy’s through.
We remember their “Great Sacrifice”.
Polo Grounds decorated with plaque
To honor Grant, “All Who Didn’t Come Back”.
When Jints moved west, plaque’s lost.
“No Titles” was lost plaque’s cost.
Once replaced, three flags for Orange and Black.
Baby, if you’ve ever wondered,
Wondered whatever became of me,
I’m pitching in the ‘pen in Cincinnati,
Cincinnati, boy are we cra-a-appy.
Getting tired from bailing out our starters
The worst in homers, walks and ERA
Sure, we won’t ever catch the Cubs or Bucs
But with shelling like this, our fans need combat pay.
It’s crappy and I pitch for Cincinnati . . .