Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Never got to see
Parc Jarry.
Ebbets and the Polo Grounds
Remained unfound.
Forbes Field
To me unrevealed.
But I did run with glee
Through old Comiskey
And Tiger Stadium
Was like a palladium
And Milwaukee County
An endless bounty.
Dank, damp, and rusty,
Outmoded and fusty,
But to me much more fun
Than Wrigley, say, has become.
The team wasn’t good
Before Lucroy went down.
Then they fired the skipper
In hopes of a rebound.
But it’s all in vain,
It’s rebuild time again,
Let’s burn the whole thing to the ground.
Trade Garza, Segura,
Ramirez, and Lind,
And think about Braun,
If a deal’s in the wind.
But just don’t deal Scooter,
There ain’t no one cuter,
And as far as we know, he ain’t sinned.
Questions abound
For the Brewers this spring
Braun’s thumb
Lind’s back
Segura’s hitting
Can Scooter hit lefties
Replacing Gallardo
The bullpen
Will Ramirez have
A productive final year
While questions are numerous
Answers are elusive
With no panacea in sight
Even longtime Brewer fans
Begin the season
With muted optimism
Cubs
A Sure Thing is not
called “A Sure Thing” unless it
hasn’t happened yet
Reds
Jason Marquis back?
Surely this is a sign that
the world is ending.
Brewers
For one final spring,
Aramis Ramirez tries
to avoid diving
Pirates
Could Clint Hurdle
be the Bucs’ final hurdle
to winning a title?
Cardinals
Some with a fresh start
Will soar higher than they could
Down in the southland
From Jackie Robinson
I learned about grace under the gun
From Satchel Paige
I learned of the illusions of age
From Dick Allen
I learned never to give in
From Hammerin’ Hank Aaron
I learned to keep on keepin’ on
But from Ernie Banks
I learned to give thanks.
RIP. Let’s play two, forevermore.