Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
We found this video of the late, great Steve Goodman (“City of New Orleans”) on youtube recently, and wanted to share it. True Cub fans will recognize the melancholy, and also Wrigley Field before more seats were added in the outfield.
Posted 4/22/08
By James Finn Garner
What to name dear Wrigley Field
As history to commerce yields?
Should it be named for Ken-L Ration
To halt “dog days” for Cubbie Nation?
As ticket prices cull the rank
And file, maybe Citibank?
As young draft picks all go bust,
“Mr. Clean” might lift the dust.
Pepsi Cola? Dell Computers?
Honda Motors? Air-Wick? Hooters?
The problem’s not to name the place—
It’s how to win a pennant race.
We’ll know the team’s completely dotty
If Sweet Lou’s christened “Lou Malnati.”
Posted 4/14/08
by Sid Yiddish
Say eh, Felix Pie, say eh!
Does it hurt much today?
I gather it’s worse than being strapped to a totem, than to have so much publicity attached to your torsioned scrotum.
Though humbling it seems, it happened in the winter, still it’s a true calamity, for it makes men squeal like girls by boys who given them toys like diamond rings, fur coats and shiny new cars.
Be that as it may, only a scar will hide away the familiarity with the actual case; no longer will it be based on balls, nor will it be having a ball, ‘coz now it’ll be harder, not as in boner, though…
It will still be tougher saving face.
So, say eh, Felix Pie, just say eh!
Does it really hurt that much today?
Posted 4/11/08
By Stuart Shea
The truth is now revealed
Though Guantanamo’s concealed.
We only welcome foreigners
If they can play right field.
Posted 4/9/08
by Stu Shea
Spiezio, O Spiezio,
Grungy hard-rock sleazy-o,
Your clean-and-sober act last year
Apparently a tease-e-o.
Driving drunk and skeezy-o?
Defending that‘s not easy-o.
The Cardinals chose to cut you
When their lawyers got all queasy-o.
You should have left the keys-e-o.
It could have been a breeze-e-o.
But justice may command that you
Be put inside the freezy-o.
Posted 4/4/08