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The Dreaded Eighth

by Caleb Wiley

The time is here that we’ve all come to dread,
The worst possible inning if you root for the Red.
It makes leads disappear, because no lead is safe
When our bullpen appears in the inning called eighth.

No lead is safe, no lead is secure
When our bulls begin spreading their style of manure,
So when you’re done stretching from inning number seven,
Never forget that they’re not sent from heaven.

When the seventh is over you may start to think,
“What now shall we do? Let’s just start to drink.”
BOHICA, my friends, will be with us soon,
And God help us all if we have a full moon.

So when that time is nigh and we have much to fear,
Pray very hard, then reach for more beer.
Please don’t do something to make us spew hate
When the Reds take the field in the Dreaded Eighth.

Posted 7/27/07

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To a Donkey

by Tara Franey

Should Adam from Milwaukee hit the road?
His prowess hitting baseballs from the park
Might truly cause my heart to overload.
Ah, yet the line ‘twixt fan and foe is stark
And Hark! Cry those who wish to see him gone:
“He strikes out often and he is not clutch!”
But others here in Redsville are quite fond
Of walks and pitches seen and that nonesuch
Formidable – that bat – when he’s afire,
But in the field is where he fares the worst.
His salary is high and growing high’r
And give him an extension, no one durst.

The fate of Adam Dunn I do not know,
But if he leaves, I’ll mourn to see him go.

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Ken Griffey, Jr., All-Star Starter

by William Barrett

Congrats to the NL’s starting right fielder: Ken Griffey, Jr.
He’s no longer scaling fences in Seattle with Sweet Lou and Jay Buhner,
And injury after injury shot down hopes of an 800-home run career,
But revive his youth and energy, this Cincinnati slugger has done this year.
This Red needs no juice;
For his sweet swing seems so pure and loose.
While Bonds climbs the all-time home run ladder,
The Kid’s humble march towards 600 makes a jealous and angry Barry less of a matter.
With the All-Star Game very near,
The fans favor Griffey it would certainly appear.
As the National League’s cleanup batter and number one vote-getter,
It could be argued that nobody did it better.
For even McGwire, Bonds and Sosa cannot say
They were clean like Junior; he did it the right way.

Posted 7/17/07, a week after the All-Star Game 

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Junior King

by Cory Riddle

The backwards cap, the silk-smooth swing
Once again, The Kid feels like The King.
No steroids talk, no BALCO rumor–
The game has always been pure fun for Junior.

Back in the outfield, out in San Fran
If only everything had gone to plan.
An All-Star once again, out in the bay
Nostalgia knocks: dreams of Griffey’s heyday.

Posted 7/16/07

(Sorry to get to it a week after the All-Star Game, Cory) 

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At Last (With Apologies to Etta James)

By H. H. Schnepper

At last,
My Cubs have come along
Your losing days are over and
Winning’s like a song…

Oh yeah…

At last,
The wind is blowing out,
.500’s in your tail lights.
Last night when I looked at you.

I had a dream that has to come true
A dream that has you wearing rings
I had a dream you won the series
A thrill that I had never, ever known!

You won…you won,
And now the spell is cast
And here you are in Cub heaven
For you have made it
At last.