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Swing Low, Sweet Theriot

by Anonymous

Swing low, sweet Theriot,
Comin’ through to carry me home!

I looked ’round Wrigley and what did I see,
Comin’ through to carry me home!
A line of Cubbies hittin’ after me,
Comin’ through to carry me home!

Swing low, sweet Theriot
Comin’ through to carry me home!

If you get knocked in before I do,
Comin’ through to carry me home!
Jes’ tell Sweet Lou that I’m-a comin’ too,
Comin’ through to carry me home!

Swing low, sweet Theriot,
Comin’ through to carry me home!

I’m sometimes hot and sometimes not,
Comin’ through to carry me home!
But still my bat gives all I got,
Comin’ through to carry me home!

Posted 9/5/2007 

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Soriano Nails the Runner at the Plate

by H.H. Schnepper

These are the saddest of possible words:

Soriano nails the runner at the plate.

His arm is so strong many coaches guessed wrong.

Soriano nails the runner at the plate.

So beware, the fleet footed, and heed the stop sign.

Soriano nails the runner at the plate.

Advance if you must but beware of the dust.

Soriano nails the runner at the plate.

Posted 8/30/07

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The Mighty Big Klu

by Caleb Wiley

Big Klu and his guns struck fear
In opponents both far and near.
His sleeves were ripped out, swung the bat with great clout,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His biceps were frightening indeed.
He caused the old hardball to bleed.
No doubt he was big, he also was tough,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His muscles were au naturel,
Unlike DeRosa and Sosa, et al.
No steroids or juice, just nature unloosed,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

Posted 8/21/2007

Posted on

The Mighty Big Klu

by Caleb Wiley

Big Klu and his guns struck fear
Into opponents both far and near.
His sleeves were ripped out, swung the bat with great clout,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His biceps were frightening, indeed.
He caused the old hardball to bleed.
No doubt he was big, he also was tough,
The Mighty Big Klu was he.

His muscles were au naturel,
Unlike DeRosa and Sosa, et al.
No steroids or juice, just nature unloosed–
The Mighty Big Klu was he!

Posted 8/21/2007

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Verlander’s No-Hitter

by Anonymous

One way that this year’s Verlander-ing

Was different than classic philandering:

Pudge set it up with his pandering,

Aided by expert ball-handling,

But after all their energy-expending,

The Brewers had blue balls at the ending.