Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
At last,
My Cubs have come along
Your losing days are over and
Winning’s like a song…
Oh yeah…
At last,
The wind is blowing out,
.500’s in your tail lights.
Last night when I looked at you.
I had a dream that has to come true
A dream that has you wearing rings
I had a dream you won the series
A thrill that I had never, ever known!
You won…you won,
And now the spell is cast
And here you are in Cub heaven
For you have made it
At last.
One after one they came into the game
From free agency and the farm
Each took his place on the mound
And cursed me with his arm
Two times fifteen blown saves
And with plenty a sigh and a groan
With belt-high fastballs and hanging curves
They gave up runs one by one
Biceps like well-tempered iron,
Frightening to see,
Was Ted Kluszewski.
No shirtsleeves wore he,
Did Ted Kluszewski.
And if you asked him why, he’d
Grind you into loose tea.
In his day he was feared,
The toughest man on the Ponderosa.
But today his muscles are matched
By Sammy Sosa
And Mark DeRosa.
by Stu Shea
Here’s to the men of Milwauk,
Who are making the baseball world talk.
There’s a Hardy man at short and a Gross in reserve,
While the pitching staff’s Sheets are quite billowy.
Bill Hall runs ’em down while Craig will give Counsell
And Prince Fielder’s body is pillowy.
Yes, the Brew Crew is back in Milwauk,
Giving all its opponents a shock.
The rotation has been solid despite their less-known names,
And Francisco Cordero slams doors.
Though the roof of their park still sports a few holes,
The beer is the only thing that pours.
Yes, the Brew Crew is ready to rock,
Now that Bud Selig’s name’s off the block.
I wish the Cubs had
Ichiro Starting in Right
Instead of Jacques Jones.
The Wooden Elbow
Continues to be creaky–
For godsakes, just pitch!
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About Barry Bonds’ Seventy-Third:
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Posted 6/15/07