Charles “Gabby” Hartnett

by Michael Ceraolo

You know why someone gets the nickname Gabby
And you can probably guess why someone
gets the nickname Old Tomato Face
(hint: Chicago during Prohibition, and after)
I know injuries are a part of the game,
but we would have won back-to-back Series
if I had been healthy in ’29
and Hornsby had been healthy in ’30
You know I was behind the plate
when Ruth allegedly called his shot;
he pointed to our bench with two fingers
(both teams had really been riding each other),
saying that was only two strikes, he had one left
You know about the famous homer in ’38,
but you may not know I got called on the carpet
for having my picture taken with Al Capone
after I had given him an autograph
What was I supposed to do, refuse his request?

Stick It, Ricketts

by Hilary Barta

Cubs owners are right-wing and rotten
Their millions, no doubt, are ill-gotten
Once I cheered for their team
Now they’ve ruined the dream
Though the thrills of the past ain’t forgotten.

 

Pennant Stretch Brewer Haiku

by The Brewer Haiku-er (@brew_haiku on Twitter)

150. Cardinals 5, Brewers 2
Red Birds best the Crew
3 hits just won’t get it done
Against this hot club.

 151. Cardinals 2, Brewers 1
Woodford v. Woodruff
Both pitchers strong out of gate
Cardinal is stronger.

Crew close but still lose
Can’t slow the Red Birds down much
As they win 10th straight.

152. Cardinals 10, Brewers 2
So Jace on the mound
And Omar playing second?
This cannot be good…

It’s unfortunate
Timing to take a nosedive
Now comes the hard part.

 

NL Player of the Week

By Greg Simetz

A 29-year-old rook
Claimed off waiver’s wire
Has been tearing up pitchers
Setting Wrigley afire.

With the old-time name Frank
That sounds under-powered
He’s been putting up numbers
Like Franks Robinson and Howard.

Be it a game-winning slam
That set fans a-tingle
Or a headfirst slide into first
With a bizarre walk-off single.

He’s a real life Crash Davis
The longshot who paid
Taking out some of the sting
From Hoyer’s heartbreaking trades.

And though this year’s Cubs team
Will not win a ring
You can count on Schwindel
And his mighty sweet schwing!