by James Finn Garner
Dusty Baker notched his 2000th win
With a toothpick lodged into his grin
No World Series ring?
That don’t mean a thing
His record requires no spin.
Photo by David J. Phillips/Associated Press
Thank You, Sir, May I Have Another?
by James Finn Garner
To distract from news of variations
And COVID viral mutations
And that “It’s everywhere!” sensation–
I’ll give baseball one more try.
To soothe the mind with pointless stats
Like zodiacal-themed at-bats
And if Lance Lynn’s allergic to cats–
I’ll give baseball one more try.
Ignoring the obscene cost of tickets
And the politics of Ricketts
And the siren call of following cricket–
I’ll give baseball one more try.
If I can score a bit of Zen
So to pick up the fight again
I’ll give the donut race a loud “Amen!”–
I’ll give baseball one more try.
Charles “Gabby” Hartnett
by Michael Ceraolo
You know why someone gets the nickname Gabby
And you can probably guess why someone
gets the nickname Old Tomato Face
(hint: Chicago during Prohibition, and after)
I know injuries are a part of the game,
but we would have won back-to-back Series
if I had been healthy in ’29
and Hornsby had been healthy in ’30
You know I was behind the plate
when Ruth allegedly called his shot;
he pointed to our bench with two fingers
(both teams had really been riding each other),
saying that was only two strikes, he had one left
You know about the famous homer in ’38,
but you may not know I got called on the carpet
for having my picture taken with Al Capone
after I had given him an autograph
What was I supposed to do, refuse his request?
Stick It, Ricketts
by Hilary Barta
Cubs owners are right-wing and rotten
Their millions, no doubt, are ill-gotten
Once I cheered for their team
Now they’ve ruined the dream
Though the thrills of the past ain’t forgotten.
Pennant Stretch Brewer Haiku
by The Brewer Haiku-er (@brew_haiku on Twitter)
150. Cardinals 5, Brewers 2
Red Birds best the Crew
3 hits just won’t get it done
Against this hot club.
151. Cardinals 2, Brewers 1
Woodford v. Woodruff
Both pitchers strong out of gate
Cardinal is stronger.
Crew close but still lose
Can’t slow the Red Birds down much
As they win 10th straight.
152. Cardinals 10, Brewers 2
So Jace on the mound
And Omar playing second?
This cannot be good…
It’s unfortunate
Timing to take a nosedive
Now comes the hard part.