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Big Klu

by James Finn Garner

When Leo the Lip tried to name
The five strongest bats in the game
He omitted Ted Klu
Hinted he lived in the zoo
Human being? He’s not quite the same.

When Hall of Fame manager Leo Durocher was once asked by a writer to name five of the strongest players in baseball, he complied. However, when the writer pointed out that he’d left Ted Kluszewski off the list, Durocher huffed and said, “Kluszewski? I’m talking about human beings!” Happy 100th birthday, Big Klu!

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Labor Day Brewers Haiku

by @brewer_haikuer

134. Brewers 5, Reds 4 in 10
Split doubleheader
Crew take game 1 in extras
Jackson’s ankle good?

135. Brewers 14, Reds 0
Nightcap not so close
Offense gets ridiculous
No extras needed.

23 over!
Watch out, Philadelphia
Crew want in top 2.

136. Brewers 5, Reds 4
Willy and Jackson
Power offense while Perkins
Steals homer with glove.

Devin walks tightrope
By loading bases in 9th
But escapes the jam.

135. Reds 4, Brewers 3 in 11
Someone had to blink
Crew settle for 3 of 4
In Cincinnati.

Hello, Brent Suter
Congrats on some fine pitching
Wish it was in Blue.

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Clemente’s Throw

by Ron Halvorson

All the OG sluggers the Old Fans watched play at Candlestick Park–
Miracle Mays, Mighty McCovey, Cyclone Cepeda, Uppercut Evans, Angry Jack Clark, King Kong Kingman, Redneck Jeff Kent, Mayhem Matt Williams,
and the Millennial Enigma himself—Titanic Barry Bonds!

But all those star shots launched into the infamous Candlestick jet stream
pale in comparison to the atomic arm displayed by visiting Pirate Roberto Clemente in 1968.

Old Fan still visualizes that cold, windy summer night,
watching Clemente dashing for, scooping up the bouncing baseball,
Negotiating the warning track deep in right-center field.

Clemente as whirling dervish spinning,
Athletic possession,
hardwired into baseball poetry,
like a Rumi poem divinely inspired.

Clemente’s arm now dispossessed from the body,
Superpower unleashed,
Following through like an Olympian hammer thrower.

Then the baseball rose into the fluorescent lights,
Gaining altitude,
Higher than a wicked drive by McCovey,
Now level with the disbelieving eyes of Old Fan in the upper deck behind home plate.

Who needs a cut-off man?
Not Clemente.

The majestic arc,
Seemingly suspended in the ethos,
slowly descended,
as the lumbering Giant runner rounded third base.

Into the waiting big paws of the Pirate catcher,
Who stood nonchalantly on top of home plate,
Clemente’s mighty heave softly fell.

The dead duck Giant runner?
He just stopped,
Staring in disbelief,
As the laughing catcher tagged him out.

So wax poetic about Clemente’s throws,
All you talking heads on the radio,
Who wish you saw him play.

Well, that foggy night at Candlestick,
During the summer of love in iconic San Francisco–
It ain’t on the internet.

That throw was visceral, not virtual–
You had to be there,
Amid the blowing hot dog wrappers and wafting cannabis smoke.

We were there, and you weren’t—
Old fans, real eyes,
Witnessing the Great Clemente live.

Ron Halvorson is a freelance writer and lifelong San Francisco Giants fan who went to his first game at windy Candlestick Park in the early 1960s.