Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
The Kenes/Judge first-inning showcase
Was anticipated,
And both the fans and commentators
Were elated
When — bells ringing — it occurred.
But it was a bit of a letdown:
No fireworks — an HR or strikeout —
When the Judge grounded out to third …
And then it was all over too soon.
Rafael Devers
Will never say never
But he’s pretty sure
He wouldn’t go on a gastronomic foraging tour.
Paul Skenes
Mentors awkward teens.
Growing up in California
He too had acne and body dysphoria.
Elly de la Cruz
Has over 400 pairs of shoes
And 75 square meters
Of Odor Eaters.
Alec Bohm.
Wherever he lays his hat is his home.
But wherever he is across the nation,
He digs The Temptations.
afternoon baseball awakens with the city in the west
pirates vs. marlins adorning the hanging television screen
around him
the day
leisurely stretches,
softly
it begins to
speak:
cars zoom by,
apartments rumble,
dogs shout good mornings at the sun
ke’bryan hayes steps up
to bat
knocks a sure footed
first inning triple
hit into right field
rounds one base,
then two, gone
with the wind
like his helmet
as he sprints towards parking
at third revealing
the tiniest neatest of ‘fros positioned
atop his dome like a crown
okay
sir,
we see you
keep our spirits alive
today’s gonna be alright
.
Tauwan Patterson is a Black + Queer Poet and recent graduate of the MFA Creative Writing Program at Queens University of Charlotte, North Carolina. His work has appeared in online literary magazines Cool Beans Lit, 3rd Wednesday Magazine, and Muse-Pie Press’ Shot Glass Issue #41, and will also appear in the forthcoming Moonstone Arts Center anthology Which Side Are You On?!, the Winter Issue of Rise Up Review, Porkbelly Press’ Love Me, Love My Belly zine, the Rising Phoenix Review, the Academy of the Heart and Mind, The Amazine, and Arteidolia. With his poetry Tauwan aims to, in the words of the great poet and thinker Marcus Jackson, announce his freedom and presence. Making a sound that echoes in the end that says Tauwan Patterson. No more. No less.
Inning 1: Zero hits off pitching phenom Paul Skenes;
Three Cubs go down swinging.
Inning 2: Praise the name pronounced Skeenz;
Three more Ks: Ka-ching, Ka-ching, Ka-chinging.
Inning 3: He throws the ball 100 miles per hour;
“Only” one strikeout, but Cubs still have no hits.
Inning 4: From where does the kid get that power?
Two more strikeouts; batters flailing like twits.
Inning 5: Pitch after pitch, Skenes dominates;
A walk spoils his bid for perfection.
Inning 6: Comparisons whispered about all-time greats;
Quick-hook manager says, “You’re done, son.”
Innings 7, 8 and 9: Wrigley Field turns bitter;
Pirates fans grumble, “Coulda been a no-hitter!”
I have difficulty explaining concisely how I throw the ball.
Its high arc dropping into an imaginary box, as if suspended by cable.
And so I perfect my elevator pitch.
After a 40 year absence, the eephus was resurrected by Rip Sewell for the Pirates in 1941.
–
Brad Roudebush’s favorite baseball movie is “Mr. 3000” because when Bernie Mac pulls the hidden ball trick, it accurately portrays that the pitcher may not be standing on the mound.