Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Joey Votto
Never gets blotto
But does enjoy the occasional beer
With that crazy Molina, Yadier.
Ender Inciarte
Prefers Commedia dell’arte
And Restoration plays
To the pap on B’way these days.
Nolan Arenado
Boasts much bravado
But jumps high as a glider
When surprised by a spider.
Nelson Cruz
Hates to lose,
Which makes his time in Seattle
More of a battle.
Jose Quintana
Can drive up the Dan Ryan-a
Take the Drive over
And finally pitch in October.
For 2017 Ford Frick Award Winner, Bill King
Frick’s ghost wrote, “Time this man gets ring!”
Ruling made, Hall of Fame Voters sing,
“Enshrine ‘Stan’s Greatest Fan’,
Star belongs with ‘The Man.'”
Fans sing, “Holy Toledo, Bill King!”
Hall of Fame Names Bill King Ford Frick Award winner for excellence in broadcasting.
The Cards on TV,
Well, that’s as may be
But it’ll all go roxten
If they bring in Broxton.
The Cards on TV,
Well, that’s as may be.
We got Cecil for lefties,
But he leaves me berefties.
The Cards on TV,
Well, that’s as may be.
Aledmys can really hit,
But Diaz, sadly, fields like . . .
The Cards on TV,
Well, that’s as may be.
Hope springs eternal,
Most outcomes . . . infernal.
The Cards on TV . . .
Dude, stop! They win more when we don’t watch!
Oh, my game, it is baseball.
My home team’s the best,
The team that I root for,
Once league’s furthest west;
I’s taught and brought up where
Redbird fans reside,
Learn the St. Louis Cardinals
Have God on our side.
Learned the game from my father,
Local fan till last day.
Taught me, “Watch your team play, son,
Play the game the right way.”
Watched, rooted, and studied,
Played with own inner pride,
Like I learned as a Cards’ fan
With God on our side.
Have own Hall of Fame Roster
Bat with Redbirds on chest
Diz and Gibby hurled high heat
“Stan the Man’s” still our best
Slats, Pepper, Brock, Cha Cha
Curt Flood’s on-/off-field pride.
My team’s greats played the game right
With God on their side.
I attended first series,
Damn Yanks, ’64.
Teams split the first six games,
Each must win one game more.
Sat with Dad in the bleachers,
Where Mick’s last tater flied.
Final out celebrated
With God on our side.
Beat Damn Yanks for first title.
Old Pete was the gent,
Soon Lou and Babe payback,
In four games Cards are spent.
Split next two, early ’40s,
Wounded Damn Yankees’ pride,
Then they start counting dead boys
With God on their side.
After Second World War, boys,
BoSox dream Cards upend.
Later “Lonborg’s Champagne”
Drink “Impossible’s” end,
But post-Y2K,
Big Papi’s, Sox pride
Twice repay the Redbirds
With God on their side.
Oh, the record book tells it,
It tells it so well:
Of all parts of the body
That Steve Piscotty
Tuesday got dinged,
Here’s the thing:
While an elbow or two
Might need some glue,
The brain isn’t quite
As crucial in right.