Bob Dylan’s 2017 Forecast: “It’s the Card’s Reign’s A-Gonna Fall

by Jim Siergey

Oh, where have you gone, my blue-capped chumps?
Oh, where have you gone, you darling crumb bums?
You’ve stumbled and cried for ten musty decades
You’ve choked and you’ve tripped in lieu of sweet vict’ry
(But) You’ve shaped up your farm teams the several last seasons
You’ve beat us by using our very own game plan
You’ve put ten thousand miles away from Cubs’ hist’ry

And it’s the Card’s, and it’s the Card’s, it’s the Card’s,
and it’s the Card’s
And it’s the Card’s reign’s a-gonna fall!

 

Family Celebration

by the Village Elliott

For My Great-Uncle Art

Pleased Cubs fans celebrate victory,
Happy for part of my family:
Mom, who’s from near North Side
Tempered Dad’s Redbird pride,
My St. Louis baseball legacy.

Never had Chitown antipathy
All pervasive in Dad’s family.
Cubs were Mom’s first team,
Cuddly in the extreme,
Part of my gonfalon legacy.

I’ve learned, suggest no Cub fan forgets:
“Fickle Destiny Oft Fails Fans, Vets.”
Fate slammed ’68’s door
On my Cards’ destined score
And “eighty-sixed” the’86 Mets.

 

Autumn’s New Retirees

by James Finn Garner

Before the Fall gets underway,
Let us doff our caps and say
Goodbye to those who’ll junk their cleats,
Leave the park and walk the streets.

Super-versatile Angel Chone
Will now be the utility man at home.
Grant Balfour, hothead Aussie,
Can only fume when his wife gets bossy.

Phil Humber’s vaunted perfect game
Was his sole stat worth noting (such a shame).
The Prince has trouble with his neck–
He’ll inspire no more fear on-deck.

Tex and A-Rod will leave the Yanks
And all their fans will mumble thanks,
While Raf Soriano has called an end
To tell war stories, a fine fireman.

But let’s not forget the other guys,
Young tyros once, with starry eyes,
Who gave their all but somehow missed
The general manager’s call-up list.

They’re just as key to the game as any
Adam LaRoche or Brad Penny.
Talent, drive and dreams they bid,
Just like us when we were kids.

 

Waterlooed

by the Village Elliott

For last night’s ninth inning loss, Cardinals 3, Giants 2

During Jints’ pitching change interlude,
Team’s reliever preemptively booed.
Home crowd’s seen it before,
When the Cards tied the score–
Team’s ninth inning’s again “Waterlooed”.