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Halfway-Point Haiku

by D. Bruce Brown

Is Haiku foolish?
For the national pastime?
Heavens, I hope not.

NL West
Arizona
Nice guys finish last
Crabby managers do win
They still need pitching

Los Angeles
Is money the key?
It can bring in the big names
No, it’s the scouting

Colorado
Thin air skews his stats.
Is Todd a Hall of Famer?
No, probably not

San Francisco
We won it all twice…
With an absence of offense
Only even years

San Diego
A beautiful park
The only Hall of Famer
Is up in the booth

NL East
Atlanta
Fourteen in a row
Is not so impossible
It might start this year

Washington
First picks starting games
Davey says this is his last
A doormat no more

Philadelphia
A team on the rise
They are not now any more
We all miss Harry

New York
A small pantheon
But will be growing soon now
Matt Harvey’s a star

Miami
Was ever team
More worthy than its owner
To be in the Bigs?

NL Central
St. Louis
The league’s best record
They have birds on their jerseys
We all will miss Stan

Pittsburgh
A great tradition
Lives on in the memory of fans
Maybe the year’s here!

Cincinnati
Phillips is wondrous
The rest are outstanding too
It’s Dusty’s last year

Chicago
The city’s windy
Is anything more constant
Than fans’ apathy?

Milwaukee
Segura is great
John Axford is clean shaven
Nicest fans ever

 

D. Bruce Brown has posted daily trivia questions for Horsehide Trivia since 1997.  He is also the president of the Bob Davids chapter of SABR.

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On a Clerihew Day, You Can See Forever (All-Star Game Edition)

by James Finn Garner

David Wright
Was expecting a big night
On his home field
With the rest of the Mets concealed.

Robinson Cano
Not too long ago
Was the picture of Yankee youth.
Now even he is long in the tooth.

Manny Machado,
If he were a flavor of gelado,
Would be, I’d bet,
Orioles black-and-orange sherbet.

Carlos Beltran
On the days the smelt ran
Would’ve rather been at the lake fishing
Than at the plate swishing.

Chris Sale
Is young, hearty and hale.
It’s the White Sox’s bats
That cripple his stats.

 

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2013 NL Central Prediction Haiku

By Stuart Shea

CHICAGO
A brand-new playpen?
That’s just a distraction for
Your crumbling bones.

CINCINNATI
As we get older
We learn to use our wisdom.
What’s Dusty’s excuse?

MILWAUKEE
I’d walk a mile for
A Gamel–a healthy one.
Now: power outage.

PITTSBURGH
Brand new calendar,
Same old days. Same old people.
Same old misery.

ST. LOUIS
Another spring, a
Young man in charge–well, young by
Managing standards…

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Spence and Cain and It Looks Like Rain

by James Finn Garner

Hunter Pence showed how it’s done
Hitting three times instead of one
Earning a futile “Whazz-muh–?”
From an addled Peter Kozma.

And from the mound, young Matt Cain
Gave the Cards a Giant pain.
The contest called by Buster Posey
Came up smelling like a rosey.

So it’s the Coasts, both West and Third.
No more miracles for the Birds.
Plus, TV watchers praise their luck:
Coitus interruptus for McCarver and Buck.