Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Yo Willie McGee,
Hey Willie McGee
Your bat will stay still if you listen to me
It goes back and forth,
Precision Swiss watch
So try not to move and bust balls like Ed Koch
But wait, now you’re still
And obeying some rule
That was set out to force you to suffer a fool!
My bad, Willie Dean
Stay the same, keep that swing
Tick the tock of your bat and you’ll be MVP!
Visit Sandy and his improv comedy palz at the Schadenfreude website.Â
Posted 10/23/07
by James Finn Garner
Need a sad story? Check out Rick Ankiel,
Whose August exploits made Redbird fans feel
Like jumping for joy. Years past, after Rick’s
Stint as a St Louis hurler had passed,
He traded the mound for some outfield grass.
He leaped and he ran, and when swinging his stick,
He rang up the runs like a pinball machine.
Now there’s suspicion he’s not playing clean.
His once-mighty bat is now a limp wick.
While there’s no proof yet Rick took hGH,
The mess helped derail the Cards’ pennant stretch,
And this feel-good story now makes you feel sick.
Posted 9/25/07
What’s your favorite food?
What’s your favorite color?
Who’s your favorite player?
Mine’s Tommy Herr.
Who’s from Pennsylvania?
Who likes to play Second?
Who’s an All Star?
I bet it’s Tom Herr.
Who passed the torch?
The pro baseball torch?
Following footsteps…
His Dad is Tom Herr.
Who’s a Cardinal, Met, Twin,
And a Philly for sure?
Who’s the Giant of All?
You know it’s Tom Herr!
Posted 9/21/07Â
by James Finn Garner
The Central race is shaping up, but nobody had reckoned
The Brewers, Cubs and Redbirds in a three-way race for second.
The pitching ranks as adequate, if no one pulls up lame.
The hitting has shown promise and can sometimes win a game.
But the bullpens can’t be trusted, and defensive play is worse.
It’s hard to jump a bandwagon that looks just like a hearse.
Come on, guys, we know you dream of golf and going fishin’.
But the rules are clear–they state SOMEONE must win the division.
Posted 9/13/07Â
A handspring
A handspring
A double backflip,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
Now watch the hits rip!
St. Louis
St. Louis
A loyal shortstop,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
He’ll land at the top!
Our favorite
Our favorite
Our regular guy,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
Monsieur RBI!
A triple
A triple
A rock & roll riff,
That’s Ozzie Smith for ya,
He’ll steal in a jif!
Posted 9/12/07Â