Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
ATLANTA BRAVES
So many moons past…
The spring of Chipper gives way
To rust and pallor
MIAMI MARLINS
New house and new name
Young folks up til all hours
The Blizzard of Ozz
NEW YORK METS
They built this Citi.
Now they have to live in it
Short fences or not
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
At the keystone sack
Nothing but questions surface
In this pennant Chase
WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Message from the East—
“Beware high expectations”
Tapped out in Morse code
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
Good-bye, Ozzie,
You’re going to leave us now.
Merrily you roll along,
Roll along,
Roll along,
Merrily you roll along
Down to F-L-A.
No more cursing,
No more tweeting,
No more bull#@*&,
You’re going to leave us now.
Let’s see how you do in Miami
Miami
Miami
Let’s see how you do in Miami
With non-existent fans.
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Good-bye, Ozzie
Your act went on too long.
Ozzie and Kenny fighting at the Cell
(Throw Greg Walker in as well)
First come shouts,
Then comes snarling,
Then comes Ozzie (finally!) moving to the Marlins.
ATLANTA BRAVES
It’s a New Brave World,
New players, new chief, newspeak,
And an old Chipper.
FLORIDA MARLINS
A Southern poser:
If teams play in the forest
Will anyone care?
NEW YORK METS
Luis Castillo
Will drop pop-ups someplace else
This sunny summer.
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
The best rotation?
Either what the Phillies have
Or the earth itself.
WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Despite higher Werth,
From Ankiel to Zimmerman
They’ll still be boring.
By Stuart Shea
.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Baiting his hook with sinkers
Sliders, heat, and curves,
Halladay set down every fish
And he betrayed no nerves.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Snaring every one
And tossing them in his boat,
Halladay did a good day’s work
And earned a right to gloat.
27 fish came up,
27 fish went down.
Hunter, Koufax, Robertson,
Bunning, Wells, Buehrle,
Halladay is now in
Interesting company.
27 fish came up.
27 fish went down.
.
Posted 6/8/2010