By James Finn Garner
Since when do prospects travel to Miami?
Is it global warming’s fault?
As the Twins try to keep the fires going in the fall
For an “OctoBOMBA Surprise”
They’ll need Romo to be on fire
To keep the frost off the bullpen.
A Get-Well Card for Stanton
by HoraceClarke66
Giancarlo came up and we cheered ourselves hoarse,
He’d break every record as a matter of course.
He huffed and he puffed and he swung like hell
And the next thing we know he’s back on the DL!
Singin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
But for this game I am too strong
And I gotta be driftin’ along.
The Red Sox were wobbling they were ready to go,
Giancarlo said, “I’ll win it with one mighty blow.
I’ll give it a ride, you should have no fear”—
And the next thing we know we’re done for the year!
Sayin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
I gotta get back to the weight room now
But wait’ll next year, I’ll show ya and how!
Well, he swung the bat and he blew out his shoulder,
He slid into the bag and he rolled his knee over.
It’s a good thing he can’t play the field much, perhaps,
For if he caught a ball he might just collapse.
Singin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
The balls he hits, they sail far out of sight,
But as he circles the bags, his hammies get tight.
His body is just like a well-oiled machine—
After it’s been tenderized with a ball-peen.
He’s got biceps of iron and abs of steel
But he just can’t stay on the darned field!
Sayin’ so long, it’s been good to know ya,
So long, it’s been good to know ya.
We’re off to London to play for the queen,
And we hope while we’re gone you won’t rupture your spleen!
Reprinted from the essential Yankee blog, It is High, It is Far, It is….caught.
One and Only
By Fred Lovato
Ichiro’s at bats
animated kabuki
we watched mesmerized
A Game of Pinches
by Michael X. Ferraro
All of the Phils and Marlins hurlers
Could have worn Dock Ellis’ curlers
In this game because not one batted
And thus were not protective(ly) hatted.
Marlins’ Mattingly Calls for September Roster Reform After Bizarre Record Set
Braves’ Acuna Hit, Pitcher Ejected
by Stephen Jones
Your Honor,
I am here on behalf of citizenry
Who often see baseball chicanery
When it comes to the unwritten rules:
‘Tis better to plunk a batter right off,
Rather than let him show his stuff
And hit for the grandstand aisles.