by Stephen Jones
Noah Syndergaard stormed ashore
Like a grim Viking ancestor.
He drew out a sword of destiny —
His unheard of slider of no pity —
And unleashed it on poor KC.
Ballad of the Met-Clot
by Stephen Jones
I do coagulate and
Bring the Dark Knight to his knee.
I am the “Bladder Demon”
When Harvey forgets to pee.
Still Amazin’, for Different Reasons
By James Finn Garner
Introducing this year’s New York Mets!
Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets
On whether they’ll rue not keeping Cespedes
And whether Matt Harvey will remember to piss.
The Books Must Balance
by R.J. Lesch
The books must balance, so accountants say.
For every credit on the books, we must
Record a debit. Bills come in; we pay
Them off and write it down. In baseball, just
The same is true. A hit is chalked up to
The hitter and the pitcher both. A game
Won by my team must be a loss for you.
If we give credit, so we must give blame.
For every Thomson, Branca there must be.
For Mazeroski, Terry. Wilson, Buck.
Gordon and Familia, recently.
Then Hosmer, Duda. Perez, Matz. Tough luck.
The calculus of baseball can be cold,
But books must balance, once the tale is told.
Owning October
by Doug Fahrendorff
The comeback kids are champs
Trailing late in games
Different players stepping up
From Gordon’s home run
To Hosmer’s dash for home
Not forgetting
The steady leadership of Perez
Or the brilliant bullpen
The entire team contributed
To keeping the line moving
Defeating Gotham’s Dark Knight
No easy task
A victory well deserved
Celebrate Kansas City