Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
So far so far for now
New York City’s baseball helix
By bat The Yankees won
Necessarily this series 2-to-1
Or did The Mets collapse
A team in need of rebirth
Refocus to rebuild girth
But questions do remain
The Mets? Direction cohesion
An on-rush demonstration
Needed field-and-plate
This season a rebuildment
For all the long ball signature
The Yankees win however
The stats of good pitching
Meaningful future-wise
.
Carny barker, rodeo clown,
Digging ditches in the ground,
Pizza schlepping in Astoria,
Lube guy at some sex emporia,
Blue-haired lady’s gigolo
(Let’s hope you never stoop that low),
Roadkill man on th’ Interstate,
Scrounging cans or selling bait–
Whatever crummy job you get,
Be thankful you’re not Mr. Met.
.
Consider the case of Lastings Milledge,
Career on the wane and prospects pillaged.
So many chances, not one of them clicked.
Now playing Triple A out in the sticks.
How cruelly ironic to have that first name,
Success was so fleeting throughout his game.
Drafted and signed with ado and aplomb,
but the years and the game rolled crushingly on.
To what sort of player can you really relate:
The superstars, scrubs — or should-have-been-greats?
From Wilpons sadness
ideas for help spring forward
Madoff bobbleheads
ATLANTA BRAVES
It’s a New Brave World,
New players, new chief, newspeak,
And an old Chipper.
FLORIDA MARLINS
A Southern poser:
If teams play in the forest
Will anyone care?
NEW YORK METS
Luis Castillo
Will drop pop-ups someplace else
This sunny summer.
PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
The best rotation?
Either what the Phillies have
Or the earth itself.
WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Despite higher Werth,
From Ankiel to Zimmerman
They’ll still be boring.