Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Zach Grienke’s arm is hinky.
Jake Peavy’s feeling skeevy.
Adam Wainwright’s wing ain’t right.
Rich Harden’s asked for pardon.
Brad Lidge is off a smidge.
That goes ditto for Johnny Cueto.
And an inflamed elbow is causing
Pain for Jason Isringhausen.
Thank God for March,
So these great apes
Have one less month
To fall out of shape.
by David Bellel
Sayonara Minaya, the Mets bid you goodbye
Whisper Sayonara Minaya but you mustn’t cry
Sayonara Minaya, if it must be so
Whisper Sayonara Minaya, you’ll still get lots of dough
No more we see pretty awful baseball
No more teams that never try
Sayonara, sayonara
Goodbye
Sweet “like acid rain”
Lou erupts no more. Old Guard
Retreats from dugout.
Bobby “WTF?”
Cox pissing and moaning fades
Into Georgia dusk.
The Saga of Joe Torre:
Sucked in St. Lou and
Shea. Then, in fall, to the Bronx,
And now he’s a champ??
An ode to shuttered baseball parks. For info on Johnny Rosenblatt Stadium, please check the comments thread below.
And here’s to you, Boston’s Fenway Park,
Jesus loves you more than you will know — wo, wo, wo.
God bless you please, windy Wrigley Field,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray.
Hey, you’re all that remain.
We’d like to know a little bit about old stadia,
We’d like to help you keep some memories.
Look around you, all you see are old angelic eyes.
Strolling hallowed grounds of New York’s Polo Grounds.
And here’s to you, Jackie Robinson,
Ebbets Field saw fans who open grew — woo, woo, woo.
God bless you please, Jackie Robinson,
Brooklyn holds a place for those who played
Hey, hey, hey … hey, hey, hey.
Now so many places live where no one ever goes:
Shea, the Vet, Three Rivers and Candlestick.
It’s no shock Olympic Stadium’s no longer used.
Bigger surprise the House Ruth Built is gone now.
Coo, coo, ca-choo, all old stadia
We remember more than you will know — wo, wo, wo.
God bless you please, Houston Astrodome,
We remember Bad News Bears’ clutch play
Hey, hey, hey … hey, hey, hey.
Sitting in the bleachers on a Sunday afternoon,
Going to a big late-season day game.
Laugh about it, shout about it
When you’ve got to choose
Ev’ry way you look at it, you lose.
Where have you gone N. C. Double A
A nation turns its hungry eyes to you — woo, woo, woo.
What’s that you say, President Myles Brand?
Rosenblatt has left and gone away!
Hey, hey, hey … hey, hey, hey.
Posted 9/7/10
By Stuart Shea
.
K-Rod, relief ace,
Why smash your father-in-law in the face?
3 Mil down the drain,
And you won’t ever pitch for the Mets again.
K-Rod, bad thumb,
Going to court when the surgery’s done.
You didn’t bend–only break,
And your life has changed from one mistake.