New York Mets – Page 32

July 13, 2010

Mets Fans’ Sad Lexicon

by Ron Kaplan
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With apologies to Franklin Pierce Adams on the 100th anniversary of his original poem

These are the saddest words Mets fans could hear:
Ollie (Martinez) Perez.
Walking the enemy year after year:
Ollie (Martinez) Perez.
Taking his time as he misses his pitches,
Giving up homers to those sons of bitches,
All during which we don’t know where his brain is:
Ollie (Martinez) Perez.
.
Ron Kaplan is the features and sports editor of a New Jersey newspaper, and also runs Ron Kaplan’s Baseball Bookshelf, which is a must-read.

Posted 7/12/10

April 28, 2010

Get Me to Citifield on Time!

by David Bellel

A salute to Ike Davis, one of the ball-playing members of the tribe.

I’m getting called up in the morning!
Ding dong! The shofars are gonna blow real fine
Pull out the stopper!
Let’s have a (kosher) whopper!
But get me to Citifield on time!

I gotta be there in the mornin’
Spruced up with my cup aligned
Yids, come and bless me;
Bring choice salamis
But get me to Citifield on time!

If I want to hora, roll up the floor.
If I am dovening, close down my torah!

For I’m getting called up in the morning!
Ding dong! The shofars are gonna blow real fine
Wrap up my blintzes.
But don’t lose the Tzimmes
But get me to Citifield,

Get me to Citifield,

For Moses’ sake, get me to Citifield on time!

You can follow David on his blog, Pseudo-Intellectualism.

Posted 4/28/2010

April 5, 2010