Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Nothing makes Mets fans happy as
A bullpen call for Edwin DÃaz
The stadium pumps it
For that imperial trumpet
And what matador swagger he has.
Sound ‘em! 🎺 @TimmyTrumpet | @SugarDiaz39 pic.twitter.com/NEqEztrzn2
— New York Mets (@Mets) September 1, 2022
Corbin Burnes
Knows his gulls from his terns
In the role of a birder
He’s absolute murder.
Sterling Marté
Sure loves to par-tay.
Whiskey, tequila, rum–
Whatever you got, he’ll have some.
Alek Manoah
Has never been to Samoa
But he knows the nightlife is da bomb
In Guam.
Pete Alonso
Has tattoos of Gonzo,
Miss Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie and where space permits,
Kermit.
When basketball players complained
About the ball, the NBA fixed it.
When hockey players complained
About the puck, the NHL fixed it.
But when baseball players complained
About the ball, MLB … well, it didn’t fix it.
Instead, seemingly clueless, MLB has allowed
Three different balls — one, Matt Scherzer
Has said, as hard as a cue ball — and has
No intention of fixing the problem, even though
Getting hit by a pitch this year is on
Average at an all-time league high.
Upset with his team getting booed
Javy Baez gave thumbs down, how rude!
Of course from the stands
The jaded Mets fans
Returned a gesture equally crude.
Whatever the Yankees do
These days, it isn’t enough;
Even .500 ball is a challenge.
It’s gotten so bad in the Bronx
That even the ghost of Phil Rizzuto,
Ever aura of the positive,
Is thinking about haunting new digs.