Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Now that the Wild Card
Smoke has cleared
And my team has just lost,
There’s one that I’ve learned,
Something in my brain
Like a Pythagorean theorem:
“In the postseason war
There is a reason for
Pitching, pitching, pitching.
No matter how gaudy
Your at-bats have become,
There is a reason
You’ll always be undone:
Pitching, pitching, pitching.”
The Mighty Mets have been shut down
To the lamentations of Flushing Town
“Check Musgrove’s ears!”
They chanted through tears
While their sorrows in Genny they drowned.
As journos daydream in their queries
On the chance of a Subway Series,
The Metros and Yanks
Wheeze, rattle and clank
And look set to commit hara-kiri.
Nothing makes Mets fans happy as
A bullpen call for Edwin DÃaz
The stadium pumps it
For that imperial trumpet
And what matador swagger he has.
Sound ‘em! 🎺 @TimmyTrumpet | @SugarDiaz39 pic.twitter.com/NEqEztrzn2
— New York Mets (@Mets) September 1, 2022
Corbin Burnes
Knows his gulls from his terns
In the role of a birder
He’s absolute murder.
Sterling Marté
Sure loves to par-tay.
Whiskey, tequila, rum–
Whatever you got, he’ll have some.
Alek Manoah
Has never been to Samoa
But he knows the nightlife is da bomb
In Guam.
Pete Alonso
Has tattoos of Gonzo,
Miss Piggy, Scooter, Fozzie and where space permits,
Kermit.
