(Horrible “Funk” Songs, #1 in a series)
Huascar Brazoban
by Jordan Simpson (Twitter: @jrsimpsonmusic)
WELCOME HUASCAR BRAZOBÁN🍎🔥🎵
Sneaky great addition to the bullpen💪🏾#LGM #Mets pic.twitter.com/NMWKMzI8Om
— Jordan Simpson (@jrsimpsonmusic) August 2, 2024
Jordan is a fun follow on that bird site, with a musical recap of every Mets series.
Brian Snitker’s Lucky Day
By James Finn Garner
This clip turned my knees into jelly
As Snitker took one “not on the belly”
But saved was the skip
From glandular rip
By the belt corralling his potbelly.
dear roy
by Ollie Shane
(for Roy Halladay, 1977-2017)
how are you doing
wherever you ended up?
do you still fly above as your son follows in your footsteps
waving at him every so often?
did you ever see your own plaque at our mecca?
maybe you do, but then again
we as fans project our hopes and hard-owned money onto our faves
is it any surprise when we discover they have a daredevil on their shoulder instead of a chip
to motivate their game?
Ollie Shane is the author of the chapbook I Do It So It Feels Like Hell (Bottlecap Press, 2022) and the forthcoming full-length notes from the void (Wild Ink Publishing, 2025). He is also a second-generation Philadelphia Phillies fan all thanks to his beloved grandfather, Vince Tassoni.
All-Star Clerihews #3: Clerihews Redux
Kirby Yates
Would follow a website that rates
The performances of Kate Winslet
Based on her accent.
Ketel Marte
Would eat banana cream parfaits
At every meal, but doesn’t because
His contract has a weight-gain clause.
Steven Kwan
Will drone on and on
About investing in Bitcoin
Because he’s got the acumen of a pork loin.
Trea Turner
Is a slow learner
3 times invested with Steven Kwan!
Man, that money’s gone gone gone…
