Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
by Stu Shea
How can a man like Dmitri Young
Show such talent at bat?
He’s built like a jumbo marshmallow sundae
Topped by a tiny toy hat.
Of course, Babe Ruth was no Adonis,
And Mike LaValliere made his rounds.
Smokey Burgess, Ernie Lombardi,
Both weighed at least 500 pounds.
But in an age of hGH and “vitamin shots,”
It’s nice to see a guy like Young
Do so well with the physique he’s got.
When he lets it all hang, it’s fat that’s hung.
Posted 9/14/2007
All things slip away:
Family, friends, youth,
Beauty, love, truth,
The tide on a late summer day;
Status, position, power,
Money, security, home,
The best of intentions and least;
Strength, memory, reason,
Happiness, loneliness, life,
A seven-game lead in the National League East.
Posted 9/6/07, a week late to let the pain subside.
By James Finn Garner
NEWS ITEM: Bobby Cox was ejected from Tuesday’s game by umpire Ted Barrett. This was Cox’ 132nd ejection, breaking the all-time record previously held by John McGraw.
Bobby Cox, did you feel rejection
When you broke McGraw’s mark for ejections?
Noble Brave, please don’t pout,
‘cuz getting thrown out
Endears you to our cheering section.
Can’t hit, can’t pitch, can’t win,
Like ’62 all over again.
Their bats stilled
By the strong-armed Phils?
The bullpen pounded
By the mighty Dodgers.
Swept away in LA
We can still play, they say
We’ll win again someday.
We’ll get cranked
Against the Yanks,
So the boys keep swinging,
But the league keeps singing:
Meet the Mets,
Greet the Mets,
Step right up and beat the Mets,
Give us this day our daily slaughter —
Send in the Mets!
Posted 6/18/07
by Stu Shea
Squish, squish, squish!
Let’s beat up on the Fish!
Nobody comes to their games anyhow
And you may find grilled marlin delish!
Posted June 8.