Category: Philadelphia Phillies

by Michael X. Ferraro

So I’m suing the Phillies’ bullpen
for inflicting emotional stress.
With a tight lead, it’s not “if” but “when”,
the box score will reflect their BS.

My symptoms are nausea and worry
When Girardi raises his arm.
Rival hitters have no such jitters–
as they rush the dish in a swarm.

The lawyer is sure we’ll get millions
once the jury’s apprised of the facts.
Our “relief” corps does not provide said,
and the onus is mostly Klentak’s.