by Fred Lovato
At home Bryce Harper
sighs ruefully, shakes his head
Nats in World Series
You Can’t Spell “Duh” Without DH
by Michael X. Ferraro
Shohei Ohtani, Michael Lorenzen
striking out rivals, driving their friends in.
Need more proof the DH rule’s stupid?
Back in the day, look up what Babe Ruth did.
Reds’ Jacked Renaissance Man Michael Lorenzen Homers, Plays Field, Earns Win Against Phillies
Hell Hath No Furry
By Michael X. Ferraro
We’d never trade him, not even for Trout.
Fuzzy and bulbous, bright green with a snout.
If they took him from Philly
We’d all cry ourselves silly
And the damn owners could show themselves out.
Could The Phillie Phanatic Really Become a Free Agent?
Michael X. Ferraro was practically raised by the Phillie Phanatic, and thinks his magical creators should get their fair share.
Turn Your Head Eickhoff
by Michael X. Ferraro
Jarrod Dyson led off, hit one out.
Then Marte joined the party of clout.
Peralta, up next, also bat-flexed
en route to the most homer-filled rout.
The Diamondbacks outslugged the Phillies on Monday night, and both teams set an MLB home run record in the process.
How Green Was My Philly
by Michael X. Ferraro
Bryce has major green in his wallet
and Phanatic green on his feet,
But like Dallas Green back in ‘80
will he smell like a Rose on Broad Street?
