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Braves’ Leaky Pen

by Brad Cleveland

The bats have finally come to life
but things here still don’t seem right

Uggla can’t get going here
and Linebrink fills the fans with fear

every single pitch he throws
has a fan’s heart coming up his throat

for fear the game will soon be lost
and then a home run ball is tossed

when will Fredi make a move
let Venters close and Kimbrel groove

his fastballs in the 8th instead
so we can try to get ahead?

we can’t beat Philly 2 of 3
and then get smothered by D.C.
makes no sense if you ask me!

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Dick Allen and the Ebonistics, “Echoes of November”

Dick Allen, who played for 15 years with the Phillies (Rookie of the Year, 1964) and White Sox (MVP, 1972), was also a fine soul singer. This song was released in 1968 on the Groovey Grooves label. His group once performed at halftime during a 76ers game. From Wikipedia, here’s a review of the performance from the Philadelphia Inquirer:

“Here came Rich Allen. Flowered shirt. Tie six-inches (152 mm) wide. Hiphugger bell-bottomed pants. A microphone in his hands. Rich Allen the most booed man in Philadelphia from April to October, when Eagles coach Joe Kuharich takes over, walked out in front of 9,557 people at the Spectrum last night to sing with his group, The Ebonistics, and a most predictable thing happened. He was booed. Two songs later though, a most unpredictable thing happened. They cheered Rich Allen. They cheered him as warmly as they have ever cheered him for a game winning home run.”

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The Conflicts of Dick Allen (A Villanelle)

by Patrick Dubuque

We’re taught the game is played a certain way;
That men should bunt and strike out reverently
There really isn’t much else left to say.

In Little Rock, they welcomed him with spray
A sullen, stinging, whitewashed reverie.
We’re taught the game is played a certain way.

When one man swung his bat and struck him, they
Bestowed on him the culpability.
There really isn’t much else left to say.

He scratched October Second in the clay
Where local fans had once flung batteries
We’re taught the game, to play a certain way

And despite his prodigious, powerful display
Battling loneliness, rage, misery
There really isn’t much else left to say.

And so Dick Allen scowled as he played.
And so old men wrote their history.
We’re taught the game is played a certain way.
There really isn’t much else left to say.

Patrick Dubuque is the head honcho at the blog The Playful Utopia, which you all should start reading.

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NL East 2011 Haiku Predictions

By Stuart Shea

ATLANTA BRAVES
It’s a New Brave World,
New players, new chief, newspeak,
And an old Chipper.

FLORIDA MARLINS
A Southern poser:
If teams play in the forest
Will anyone care?

NEW YORK METS
Luis Castillo
Will drop pop-ups someplace else
This sunny summer.

PHILADELPHIA PHILLIES
The best rotation?
Either what the Phillies have
Or the earth itself.

WASHINGTON NATIONALS
Despite higher Werth,
From Ankiel to Zimmerman
They’ll still be boring.

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Spring Injury Report, 2011

by James Finn Garner

Zach Grienke’s arm is hinky.
Jake Peavy’s feeling skeevy.
Adam Wainwright’s wing ain’t right.
Rich Harden’s asked for pardon.
Brad Lidge is off a smidge.
That goes ditto for Johnny Cueto.

And an inflamed elbow is causing
Pain for Jason Isringhausen.

Thank God for March,
So these great apes
Have one less month
To fall out of shape.