Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
After saying “goodbye” to Joe West
We need to espy a new pest.
As shown with aplomb
By good ol’ Schwarbomb
Angel Hernandez is now the least best.
Good for Kyle Schwarber standing up to Angel Hernandez for both teams
“All f***ing night! The whole night! On both sides, f***ing horses**t!” pic.twitter.com/6yS40lMaFM
— Tony Clements (@TonyCMKE) April 25, 2022
These Phillies keep digging holes deep.
The bullpen is more like bull(bleep).
Yet Bryce Harper’s swing,
That magical thing,
May yet make Atlanta fans weep.
Shohei Ohtani
Crushes balls unlike any
And pitches like a mystery–
Face it, folks, we’re watching history.
Josh Hader
Might bring his waders
Along on the All-Star break
And do some fishing on a cool Colorado lake.
Jesse Winker
Tends to lay off the sinkers
But he can go nuts
For a well-made cronut.
J.T. Realmuto’s
Favorite might be Pluto
Among cartoon dogs, but he
Identifies the most with Muttley.
It’s already one-third of the season,
And the Yankees are tumbling down
The Jack-and-Jill of five-hundred ball.
They’d better find a good reason
To turn around this sad season,
Or to paraphrase Yogi Berra, it’s
Going to get late early, very soon.
Gibson would back you
off the plate on a bet.
Pedro had no illusions—
He just hated your guts
if you had a different color uniform.
Nolan Ryan didn’t care if
his 98 MPH fastball hit
a hip, arm, or leg.
Charge the mound for respect?
Next inning?
More chin music…
A nuanced, non-written
rule of the
National Pastime.
A former collegiate offensive lineman and football coach, Dan Provost’s poetry has been published in many print and online magazines. He lives in Berlin, New Hampshire with his wife, Laura, and dog, Bella.