Bride of All-Star Clerihews
Wilson Ramos
Has become famos
As catcher for the Nats–
Must be the way that he squats.
Francisco Lindor
Likes to golf indoors.
As dangerous as his home gets,
His kids have learned to wear helmets.
Michael Saunders
When his mind meanders
Imagines himself in toque, cape and shorts
Savior of the Great White North.
Matt Wieters
Is such a fussy eater
On every dinner date
He asks an ump to brush his plate.
Bryce is Nice
by Stu Shea
The harpies harp on Harper
They say he’s immature
I’ll take him and his moods
Whether pure, poor, or manure.
Bryce Harper’s Lament
I seen some pitchers scared of my bat
Paint the corners, standing pat
What about them “unwritten rules”?
Pitch me straight and you’ll get schooled
Oh baby, that’s hard to change
I can’t tell them how to pitch
High inside, low away
Sooner or later, I’ll crush that bitch
Walk on, walk on, walk on, walk on . . .
2015 MLB MVPs
by the Village Elliott
This year’s league MVPs have been won
By Bryce Harper and Josh Donaldson.
Bryce was unanimous,
Though Nats missed playoff bus,
While Josh powered the Jays’ playoff run.