Snake Bit

by the Village Elliott

When promoting men, Napoleon stuck
With this principle, “I look for luck.”
He would not buck the odds
And offend Baseball Gods
Shutting down Strasburg like a dumb schmuck.

Nats seem clueless and snake bit to me
Since the Strasburg Shut-Down travesty;
‘Fourteen’s Playoff Game Two:
Belt’s home run “lucky,” too;
Papelbon trade upset chemistry.

Dusty Baker will manage D.C.
Buddy’s tenure with Nats not to be;
Did Nats react to claim,
That “Black” in Bud’s last name,
Ain’t what league meant by diversity?

Seems like Dusty’s a bit snake bit, too,
Since Jints Series Game Six in ‘Ought Two,
His Cubs sure got jiggley
Post-Bartman in Wrigley,
Posey’s Granny bid his Reds adieu . . .

Months after our softball season’s through,
Pitcher our team beat still had no clue.
“Schedule and your team suck,
Only beat us by luck!”
“Yeah, we’re lucky we were playing you.”

 

Diversity

by the Village Elliott

Dusty Baker will manage D.C.
Buddy’s tenure with Nats not to be.
Did Nats react to claim
That “Black” in Bud’s last name
Ain’t what league meant by diversity?

 

What a Season — And It Ain’t Over Yet

by James Finn Garner

So now, my friends, it has come to this,
The World Series of 2015
The kids ablaze on the New York Amazin’s
Versus the Big Blue Royal Machine.

Let’s consider all that’s gone before
As we bid the warm weather goodbye
Some teams did roll as had been foretold
While others came through with surprise.

The new Cubbie kids swung some mean bats
The Blue Jays refused to show fear
Motown fell dead, now needs a retread
While the Giants await an even year.

The Dodgers in their close-ups again blinked
Staid St. Louis became hot and unglued
The Nationals sputtered, then throttled each other
The Lone Star State watched a marvelous feud

So when someone tells you baseball is boring,
Whether online, at work, in a bar,
Don’t chuckle or sigh. Look them straight in the eye
And say, “Baseball’s not boring — you are.”

 

Days of Future Past: Blue Jays Edition

by James Finn Garner

Let’s all give a hearty three cheers
For Toronto’s first berth in 23 years.

What was it like in that bygone age?
Steroids in baseball were not yet the rage.

Our phones were attached to our desks.
Melting ice caps did not pose a risk.

Bill Clinton had not been impeached,
And Saturn had yet to be reached.

Newt Gingrich somehow held power.
New York still had its Twin Towers.

But some things were the same long ago:
Bryce Harper still had a toddler’s ego.