Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
Perdomo got run
Cimber & Maton shoved
Franch & Hos made it rain
Galvis made it rain gloves
The 5th Friar got beaned
By this same Rockies team
Mac couldn’t save Ellis
From his clock gettin’ cleaned
Rox won in the end
SD didn’t make plays
But they face off again
In 12 short days
Originally appeared on Twitter.
Joey Votto
Never gets blotto
But does enjoy the occasional beer
With that crazy Molina, Yadier.
Ender Inciarte
Prefers Commedia dell’arte
And Restoration plays
To the pap on B’way these days.
Nolan Arenado
Boasts much bravado
But jumps high as a glider
When surprised by a spider.
Nelson Cruz
Hates to lose,
Which makes his time in Seattle
More of a battle.
Jose Quintana
Can drive up the Dan Ryan-a
Take the Drive over
And finally pitch in October.
Michael Conforto
Wrote a sad concerto
About what it really means
To play in Queens.
Corey Knebel
Cleared the table
Once in Bay View playing pool,
Which is the Wisconsin definition of cool.
DJ LaMahieu
Has bid adieu
To old self-centered habits
To start a shelter for homeless rabbits.
Justin Smoak
Almost went broke
With an investment scheme
For anti-strike-out cream.
Could it get any worse,
This sow’s ear out of a silk purse?
0-9 with men on base?
Talk about a team disgrace.
The Yankee mantra seems to be
Feel free to squander opportunity.
Rockies’ mountain high
Trevor Story’s spring debut
6 home runs, 4 games