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Farewell…

By Stuart Shea

Farewell, Buehrle,
Never surly,
Perfect game and Series ring.
Sox fans wish you everything.

Huddy, boy, you’ll be missed,
South and north, east and wist.
Auburn, Atlanta, by the Bay,
222 wins ain’t hay.

Jeremy Affeldt said goodbye,
Left the field and maybe cried.
Made some cash, answered the bell,
Made himself some friends as well.

Aramis Ramirez
Hopes for a Seriez.
He’s played a lot of ball,
But not much in the fall.

A.J. Burnett wants the same:
Play more than one October game.
And yes, he really cares
To play a role for the Corsairs.

And who else out there will call it quits
When the uni or job no longer fits?
Or the outright release came?
Who’s played his last game?

Barry Zito? Dan Haren?
A-Rod, Colon, or Beltran?
Latroy Hawkins, Betancourt,
Or some other old man?

 

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Trip to Lourdes

by The Village Elliott

“Never trust a base-runner with a limp. Comes a base hit and you’ll think he just got back from Lourdes.” –Joe Garagiola

Slumping visitors often leave healed,
Like from Lourdes, when they visit Coors Field;
But for Coors humidor
They could heal even more,
Cured by number of runs Rockies yield.

 

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Equal Time for Colorado

by James Finn Garner

Colorado’s owed a poem–
It’s years since we have posted one
About the Rocky Mountain State
And everything that makes it great.
The skiing hills, the hiking trails,
Big-time marijuana sales,
The healthy folks, the energy green.
I’m also told they’ve a baseball team.

 

 

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National League West 2015 Spring Training Haiku

By Stuart Shea

Diamondbacks
One perfect lesson:
“Toughness” is no replacement
for smarts and talent

Rockies
The car will not go
if Car-Go cannot go for
more than half the trip

Dodgers
If Vin Scully calls
a game on SportsNet LA,
does anyone hear?

Padres
Best way to catch flies?
Simple. Put shit in your field!
Oh, wait…they’ve tried that

Giants
The World Champions
now go begging for alms to
replace their lost pence

 

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Regular Season Post-Mortem, or a Toast to Stories Departed

By Stuart Shea

10 Teams Continue,
20 Teams Done.
Stories we have followed
Now consigned to history–
Into the pages of a book
That has been replaced by a web site.

Jose Abreu’s rookie season is over.
Corey Kluber’s ass-kicking year is over.
Phillip Hughes’ breakout is over.
Charlie Blackmon’s beard is over.
Kirk Gibson is VERY over.
But the damage done by Kevin Towers’ trades is just beginning.
Altuve’s wonderful year is over.
The Rangers’ long march of injuries is over…
But the Wash Era is also over.

Everth Cabrera’s honeymoon is over.
Marcus Stroman’s debut is over.
The painful Jay Bruce year is over.
Brock Holt Mania! is over.
Another King Felix masterwork is over.
Giancarlo’s monster season is over.
Jonathan Lucroy’s emergence is over.
The Braves’ painful swan dive is over.
Mesoraco’s breakout is over.
The struggles of Springer are over.
The weird Joe Mauer year is over.
Justin Smoak’s chance is over.
Another frustrating Rockies season is over.
The Chase Headley Padres are over.
The Papelbon crap is over,
But the Phillies’ country club continues.

The Frank Wren Era is over.
Colby Rasmus in Toronto is REALLY over.
Desmond Jennings’ honeymoon is over.
Heath Bell seems over.
The Cubs on WGN are over.
Bobby Abreu is over.
Josh Willingham is over.
Carlos Beltran sure looks over.
Can Kevin Gregg please be over?
Jason Giambi is finally over, right?
The 2013 World Champs are really over.
Is Ron Roenicke’s time over?
The Mets’ sexual harassment suit is NOT over.
Wrigley Field as we knew it is over.
Paul Konerko is over.
Derek Jeter is over.
20 Teams are over.