by Fred Lovato
In statement to press
Shohei states he never bets
Japan believes him
Say It Ain’t Sho
by Todd Herges
He arrived to throes
of joyous anticipation.
Say it ain’t Sho…
He went on to meet
About ev’ry expectation.
Just say no, Sho…
Discussed everywhere:
an awful new revelation.
Say it ain’t Sho…
The baseball world torn,
with the Cooperstown bronze dulling.
Say it ain’t Sho…
He pitches! Hits! Bets?
Despite first throes, the bloom is off
… Ohtani’s Rose.
I See You Guys
by Dusty Baker
I see you guys in the video room,
just looking at your swings,
reading all these stats.
At some point, you have to just say,
“F— all that s—”
and just go out there and hit.
All I hear is y’all talking about
launch angle
and tendences
and exit velocity.
F—ing exit velocity!?
Motherf—ing exit velocity?!
How about motherf—ing exit hits?!
Oh(tani), No!
by Dr. Rajesh C. Oza
Say it ain’t so, Sho.
A Rose by any other
Name would bet as foul
Yikes
by Fred Lovato
Five-run first inning
Yamamoto yanked from game
inauspicious start