by Hilary Barta
Two playoffs to see who’s the best
One game decides East, one the West
Statistical parity
Or sadistic hilarity?
A maniac deity’s jest?
Fit to Be Tied
by Raphael Badagliacca
Can a wild card get any wilder?
Can a tie be tied in more knots than this?
That a game of inches becomes the reason
Four teams get the chance to play
Another game of inches
To win or lose a season?
Winners and Loaizas
by Hilary Barta
News Item: Former All-Star Estaban Loaiza To Plead Guilty in Felony Drug Case
An ex-pitcher arrested for coke
Once was rich, but confesses he’s broke
Played a sport with the skill
To earn 43 mill
Life’s a bitch; so invest, you jamoke.
All-Star Clerihews
Corey Kluber
Ain’t such a goober
As to respond to missives
From Nigerian princes.
Ross Stripling
Loves his Rudyard Kipling.
After arguing with umpires,
He enjoys stories of empire.
Alex Bregman
Claims he is the Eggman,
But we all know Elvis Andrus
Is the Walroos.
Mookie Betts
Is as good as it gets
At patiently giving curves a look-see,
and also at being named Mookie.
Casey At the Baton, or Pete Rosenkavalier
By Patrick McCaughey
Overture
Baseball and opera. Basses, runs, and what’s more —
They each need a pitch before there’s a score.
Act I
Why would anyone take an opera box? There
Are better ones at the stadium.
Instead of watch opera, I’d rather go hear
Brooklyn’s phone book read verbadium.
Act II
I know how to handle a one or two hoppera,
And that Sparky Lyle was a lights-out stoppera,
That Tampa Bay plays at the Tropera,
And that Yogi was a malapropera.
But I’m as far from getting opera
As Bangor is from Santa Bopera.
Intermezzo
The seventh inning stretch — baseball’s intermezzo.
How do I know? My scorecard sezzo.
Act III
The drama! The length! The Mets! And before
The weary trudge up the aisle, two more —
Be it Series or Nibelung they each have rings,
And neither one’s over ‘til the fat lady sings.