Reviving the Art of Baseball Doggerel
If you want to learn this game baseball,
Joe Buck is the guy to call.
No matter what your rooting position
He can help you do the addition.
If you yourself couldn’t add the same:
“One homer makes this a five-run game.”
Stumped by three innings times three outs?
“Nine chances left,” the perfesser shouts.
But you might never grasp one call:
Why this putz is employed at all.
Both their fans and their uniforms blue,
To a man the Cubs couldn’t hit boo
No scoring, just zeroes
Then game four, and they’re heroes
When they ran up a cushy 10-2.
In our stomachs, that rotten old pit
Cubbies somehow forgot how to hit
Seems the team tempted fate
And lost steam at the plate
Feeling numb, our carotids we slit.
The Cubs had their fill
Of Rich Hill
Losing with every curve
Their nerve
Waving futile flutters
At his cutter
Trying “Not to Suck”
Without luck
Clayton Kershaw can throw with the best
And the hurler can go on short rest
But Cubs fans can chill
Next up is Rich Hill
So, courage! And don’t get depressed.