by Hilary Barta
In a series with thrills ev’ry minute,
Ace Lester has kept the Cubs in it
But hold on to your seat
‘Cause they still have to beat
Either Hill or (gasp!) Kershaw to win it.
It’s Math Time with Joe Buck!
by James Finn Garner
If you want to learn this game baseball,
Joe Buck is the guy to call.
No matter what your rooting position
He can help you do the addition.
If you yourself couldn’t add the same:
“One homer makes this a five-run game.”
Stumped by three innings times three outs?
“Nine chances left,” the perfesser shouts.
But you might never grasp one call:
Why this putz is employed at all.
The Waking Dead
by Hilary Barta
Both their fans and their uniforms blue,
To a man the Cubs couldn’t hit boo
No scoring, just zeroes
Then game four, and they’re heroes
When they ran up a cushy 10-2.
This is the Year — to Panic
by Hilary Barta
In our stomachs, that rotten old pit
Cubbies somehow forgot how to hit
Seems the team tempted fate
And lost steam at the plate
Feeling numb, our carotids we slit.
Behind the Curve
by James Finn Garner
The Cubs had their fill
Of Rich Hill
Losing with every curve
Their nerve
Waving futile flutters
At his cutter
Trying “Not to Suck”
Without luck